Mrs. Mekdes Mintesinot, an Chief Information Security Officer at Ethio Telecom, an Ethiopian telecommunication company.
"I have four kids together with my husband. We have raised them with an Ethiopian sense and they are all completing their studies and taking their steps towards success, thanks to god."
ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia — For the past 37 years I have worked at the only Telecom service provider of Ethiopia in the IT sector with different responsibilities at various times. I spent most of my years with a leadership role in different levels and I have seen a lot of success after a lot of challenges. I have also worked as a Chief Information Officer. I have contributed to a lot of advancements since Ethio telecoms establishment and even before then when it was ETC (Ethiopian Telecommunication Corporation). I feel a huge amount of honor for leaving my fingerprint in all those successes at one of the backbones of our country. I am now at the end of my service years and getting ready for pension. I worked at Ethio Telecom all my life. This is what my work experience looks like in short. Educational Background, Management Information Systems (BA), Statistics (Diploma). I have Four kids together with my husband. We have raised them with an Ethiopian sense and they are all completing their studies, taking their steps towards success, Thanks to God. Our life was filled with a lot of ups and downs but the ending looks very beautiful.
Mrs. Melody Kebede, an assistant to the General Manager at Eastern Industrial Park
Mine is a bit short, she laughs. I’m the second child of Mrs. Mintesinot. I have my BS degree in Construction Technology and management, a MA in Civil Engineering Construction management and I am a Master Engineer. Currently, working at Eastern Industrial Park. I have recently celebrated my 1 year anniversary at the company.
Also, I am happy to announce that, on Valentines Day, 14th Day of February 2021, I married my longtime Beau in a nice quiet but vibrant ceremony amongst close family and friends.
Melody's moment to share and express her love through words of affirmation, quality time and memories. Inspired by a few questions every daughter looks forward to asking their mother.
(Here is a dialogue from a daughter to mother, sharing intimate details that defines what makes a family wholesome.)
Melody Kebede
Are you proud of me?
Mom: Of course, of course, I’m so proud of you. Giving birth to a girl, raising her to see all her accomplishments is a huge deal. It’s tough because you want to raise her following the path you want, to be an icon in her society, independent and useful to their country among other things. Glory to God, I am very proud of you. You are at a level I consider very good, so I’m really pleased with what you have achieved so far and I know you’re going to make me proud in the future as well. You’re going to bring big changes and I can see the potential you can unleash and bring changes for the better starting from your society to your country.
Did I turn out the way you wanted?
Mom: I have tried to explain in the first part so definitely yes. You did turn out the way I wanted. I’m very pleased with the Melody I raised.
Is it weird that I’m an adult now?
Mom: I wouldn’t say its weird. The reason why we took on all the responsibilities, making all the investment, cultivating, nurturing, raising is to make you big and see you doing big things. I worked hard to see this and I want to see more of your growth and success if I’m granted age. Your growth has to be beyond just counting years. I want to see you elevating in your education, mental growth, maturity, and contributing to your country. That’s my dream.
Is there something you really regret not doing?
Mom: Not really. When it comes to raising you, I believe I went an extra mile.
When did you know that you were ready to get married?
Mom: By the age of 25 I was almost ready to get married and started the process. The time specifically was after I finished my studies & started working using my income to support my parents but you have to balance. You have to ask yourself, “what would make my family happy?”, My financial support to them or seeing their daughter become independent. I realized your family gets happy when you get married, have babies (leave a substitute for yourself) and open your next chapter. The timing was perfect since my mother was ill and I wanted her to see her daughter's next chapter as soon as possible. It was a critical decision but not one I regret.
Did having children stop you from accomplishing any particular goals?
Mom: No, not at all. I always try to balance and there have been times I might have leaned more into my work but it has never stopped me from anything.
Did you really want a daughter(s)?
Mom: No, because I don’t have that kind of thinking. I never said I want a daughter or I want a son, I just wanted a healthy child.
What is one thing you wish you could have done but never did?
Mom: The one thing I always want to do is learn. I want to learn till the last level. I advise you to go for a PhD as you have completed your masters. Remember when you had a PhD offer from where you did your masters and I said go for it. You asked mom, why? And I said Why Not?! I want to hold my PhD after this and I believe I’m going to do it with all of my heart. I don’t know when exactly but one day it will happen. That’s my dream.
What were some of the tough times you and dad experienced?
Mom: Raising a healthy child is always tough, there’s a lot of price to be paid. One of the issues was leaving your kids in the care of housemaids. You fear they’ll give them inappropriate things/food and they might get sick. While going to work leaving my little babies who aren’t even done breastfeeding, at home was one of the difficult times both for me and my husband. We usually had family and their grandparents to help out but it's still difficult. You can manage but it's still hard. You even feel bad to leave your little ones, especially when I had to travel abroad while my kids were just a year or so old. My father and my husband's mother really filled the gaps for us in our absence. When you’re gone for a long time your face will be new to the kids when you come back and you feel very guilty for leaving, it’s a tough decision at that time. I always think things 10 times before I decide, I look at the pros and cons then I decide with no regrets afterwards. You have to be conscious of the risks of your decisions and move forward with no regrets.
How many compromises did it take to get you where you are now?
Mom: You’ll have to compromise, negotiate a lot of things in order to create win-win situations. Even at work you’ll have discontent? And work harder to achieve what you want. When you are sure the thing that didn’t work out today will work out tomorrow, you work towards that. The things you leave behind with a positive attitude have to pay you back in the future. You have to see & think what do I have to do to compensate for this. As a woman, that’s in a leadership position, respectful to your hierarchy, you might have to carry a lot of men on your shoulders. You see all the recognition and various new chances going to them while you’re the one doing the work. The best thing to do is count these challenges as opportunities and not failures. There’s no perfect path set in stone to get here.
What was the most challenging time in your career?
Mom: The project I worked on in 2015 was a massive project that would transform Ethiopia’s telecommunication. It was a telecom expansion project and I was a member of the steering committee and on top of that in the IT department I’m a CIO (chief information officer) and the deployment of the IT/IS was my responsibility. We had 30 million customers at that time and the night we did the migration of these customers was very hectic. These 30 million customers that were in four systems had to be migrated into one system. A smooth migration is expected and if that fails our country would lose all connection. Ethiopia would be in a connection black out, no one would find us. It was a huge risk. This project took about 3 years. There were a lot of tests and trials done and the last 24hrs was the most critical. We were waiting anxiously and clapping after each completion. I would be accountable both for the success and failure. I have worked on various previous system deployments both as part of the team and as a leader but what made this project special is that the customer base was huge and it was a country wide deployment being followed up by Minister level. The team used to literally sleep there doing tests all day & night long, the last 24 hours everyone was on their feet. We saw the result of the upgrade right then and there highlighting our success.
If you were my age, would you be my friend (Bestie)?
Mom: Of course!
What is the funniest thing I ever said or did as a kid?
Mom: “Laughs”, Your Amharic was very funny and I remember when you brought back your Amharic test results, the definitions you gave to words were hilarious and we used those for entertainment even after it had passed.
What would you have named me if I was the opposite gender?
Mom: I can’t even imagine, I cannot say because we always name our kids after they were born.
What was the most annoying thing I did as a baby?
Mom: At an early age you always loved physical games and your clothes would always be covered in dirt when you come back home. You used to play soccer and enjoy sporty activities. I remember right after I had my third child & I was still nursing, you fell and twisted your hand. I couldn’t take you to the doctor so I was worried about what to do and I couldn’t do anything, thankfully my neighbors were there to take you to a traditional doctor and get treated.
Melody: I remember that day, I asked my older brother to play with me because I wanted to be good at the rope games the girls used to play at school. So, me and my brother went to the back where a goat was tied to a tree with a rope and I was playing with that rope until the goat freaked out and did a sudden movement. I don’t know what my brother did to it but that was when I fell and hurt my hand. I was always getting him into trouble. He was the calm one and I was the restless trouble maker. There were many occasions where you twisted your hands and then your legs as you started to get older and started playing basketball. We always say be calm, be careful, but no one listens.
Did you find out my gender before I was born or after?
Mom: Not before, we found out after you were born.
What song reminds you of me the most?
Mom: What I remember is this song that you used to sing plus listen to all the time recently. Darign by Jano Band. It was opened for your wedding as well.
Growing up, what did you think you wanted to do for a living?
Mom: I wanted to become a doctor because I wanted to help people. I have a best friend that always reminds me of my past wishes. There were a lot of opportunities to go to Russia and other countries at that time on a scholarship but I was not interested, I didn’t want to leave my country then I ended up in the IT sector. I started off with statistics then when Programming got introduced, I took the test, I passed so I continued and here I am now.
What was it like being a working mom at that time? Would you do it all over again? What would you change?
Mom: We had a great time. I’ve never even felt the pressure of being a working mom. I wasn’t stressed
and worried as a working mom when I gave birth. No one could even tell I was pregnant till I was 6months in and I would just keep working. After that all my colleagues would bring all types of traditional foods like Tehelo, Bula and as such. I was the excuse for everyone to come around and eat together. Everyone gives you special attention when you’re pregnant. The respect, the care, the happiness and the attention are unmatched. Even after I gave birth, they would visit me all the time. They never left my side. I had no pressures and for me pregnancy & birth actually meant Rest & Vacation because I never take annual leave from work. I would rest without leaving my house for three months until the christening passes. Then I get back to work so proud, I actually miss it. I would wear my traditional habesha dresses to work and we would take pictures with my colleagues who are more like family and I would continue wearing my habesha dresses because One, I loved it and Two, I couldn’t fit into my old clothes for a while after giving birth. It was a special time for me.
Melody: Moms’ colleagues are like family and even at my wedding they looked like they were the ones hosting the party. They were at our house 24/7 doing the most to get everything in order and then dancing, being merry. These are the people that used to let us play by writing using the typewriter when we went to mom’s office and made me and my siblings crochet hats, sweaters and what not. My older brother was very lucky. We were the only kids that went to the office often and they would give us all the attention when we did. They call us Little Melody & Little Mickey.
Mom: A lot of my colleagues have left the company, some due to personal reasons and some left on pension but we still meet from time to time. We always celebrate our happy moments together and support each other in the tough times. We have a special bond but those days were extra special.
Melody: I compare mom’s experience with our generation and I feel sad because we won’t get to experience that.
Mom: I doubt my kids will get to experience that at such a big scale because we see at the workplace now. We’re constantly trying to get the younger staff closer to each other but it's very hard. Two or three people might be close but that’s about it. Back in the days when our staff visited other offices people would always recognize us and acknowledge our presence saying here come the IBM’s. It was a very nice time. If it was possible to do it all over again I would.
Who were/are your role models? Who did you look up to when you were younger? Who do you look up to now?
Mom: One is my mom. She was a respected woman. And she was a great role model for everyone as a mother. Everyone looked up to her when it came to raising kids properly. She was very punctual, neat and well organized. Even when dressing us habesha dresses she would do it so properly as an adult would. She would sew dresses for me and my sister too. Being raised by my mother meant you would learn every skill, you have to know and try it all. It made us very confident and knowledgeable about a lot of things.
Career wise, my father. Usually fathers want to have boys and transfer their knowledge and unfortunately at our house we were 6 girls. My father was different though, he was so happy to be blessed with daughters. It was my mother who actually wanted to have a son but he would say “I know what’s good for me” to anyone that raised the issue of not having a son. My father raised us to be responsible at such a young age starting from managing a house to managing finances. When we got older all those lessons both from mom & dad helped us win in life.
At the Office, Mrs. Menbere, Finance officer/ Director. I was a manager at that time and we were the only women in leadership positions at that time. She was a very strong admirable woman.
Currently, I’m working on making myself a role model and cultivating the younger generation by sharing my knowledge and experiences training them to be better.
Melody: I saw how the younger ones are around you and I was so surprised to see them treating you as a mom figure beyond professional leadership. They would share their personal life stories seeking advice and you don’t disappoint. You even call them My kids. *A hint of jealousy “laughs”.
Is there a moment or event that radically changed the way you saw the world?
Mom: Exactly when I turned 40, something happened at the office that changed everything for me. I trust everyone, I’m not a doubter. At that moment I experienced betrayal and back talk that I found out way later. Thankfully nothing happened to me but I learned that you shouldn’t see everyone with the same glasses and that sometimes doubting and being careful, reflecting and looking back helps. After that I started to set boundaries for my trust and became more cautious.
Where are some of the places you traveled?
Mom: A lot of places. In Africa; Kenya, Uganda, South Africa. Europe; England, Germany, Spain, Switzerland. Asia; China and India. North America; USA. I’ve been to these countries’ multiple times.
What was your experience living / traveling abroad?
Mom: You get to see different cultures, work exposure, new knowledge, work wise, advanced technology and I would always take traditional habesha dress when I travel because I believe I have to symbolize and represent where I come from. I remember there was an event one in Switzerland and another one in South Africa in which Nelson Mandela was present and he complimented my cultural dress both times. The cultural exchange is very beautiful too.
The toughest thing was travelling alone and I was usually the only female. My interests with my men colleagues usually don’t match so that was a bit tough.
What advice would you give to your younger self at age 20? 30? 40?
Mom: I would have advised her to be more confident and daring to meet & talk with distinguished people, get more exposure, and work on women in relation to my field. If I knew then what I know now I feel like I could have done more ground-breaking things. But I still believe I have exploited what I got at the moment.
How have your notions of what it means to be a woman changed over your lifetime?
Mom: As part of the society and growing up there being a woman didn’t mean you could break out and stand out as a woman. I believed I could and that it was possible but at that time it was difficult to even explain because the environment didn’t allow it. There was an association for women during Derg regime whose intentions were misunderstood and a woman that went there would be labeled as divorced or had nothing better to do. A lot of marriages have ended because of that too. People didn’t really understand it. I personally had a good baseline from my family so I knew I could do anything but the society didn’t think so. Men always got the first pick no matter your education level, success and achievements. I think I understood it strongly after the 80’s and started working towards it more boldly after that. I started working on it more after that because I believed we women have to rise up together. I now encourage the young women and push them forward more than ever.
Mom, what was considered cool when you were growing up?
Mom: Either having great grades and being smart or being a party animal that would go dancing and partying every night, which I never tried.
What advice can you offer me now that I am a wife?
Mom: Well, the first question is what is marriage? I believe you got into it knowing about it and I have contributed to make you know what it means. Marriage is an institution, it’s the basis for society as well. It's not a game and it certainly isn’t something you get in and get out of as you wish. Everyone has a role in a marriage and no one can be substituted for one’s role. A wife has to play the role of a wife and husband the role of husband as well as children. What we are seeing in modern times is different. I think its out of lack of depth of knowledge. There should be respect, and listen to understand each other, have a common agreement on each and every thing. You have paid a lot of sacrifice to get here so now you have to build up, the foundation has already been laid out and next you have to build that up. You have to play the role of a wife. What I mean by that is; you have to respect your husband and his wants plus needs, give him what he wants from you when he wants it , and you have to speak boldly about what you want and need from him too. There needs to be an open & clear communication about what you want from each other. Your home is going to stand on your matrimony so you have to complement each other in your daily activities and not make it a competition. In marriage you share everything. If you have 100 birr and he have 1000 birr then you have 1100 birr together, that’s how it works. It has to be built upon honesty, respect, trust, responsibility, sharing and communication. It’s a stage where you share all the things that life has to offer. There’s no one formula for every marriage but you have to figure it what yours needs. The other thing is not sleeping on problems, you have to talk about them and give solutions ASAP before it sees the light of day.
Melody: I have this thing that I share with most of my friends. So, growing up my Dad always pushed me to know about kitchen stuff more than my brother and I ended up hating it as well as having this resentment towards it. As a result, my decision was that the man I’m going to marry has to cook. After we started living together, I saw that my husband cooks, he knows it has to be done, he doesn’t mind. What I didn’t realize was I still had that resentment when it comes to cooking for your husband which I was supposed to drop at some point but didn’t. So like I said he always cooks, he gets me breakfast in bed, he cooks on the weekends and weekdays if he gets home before me and that’s when I started to reflect on myself. It's our home and there’s nothing he picks & chooses to do or not to do, he does it all whether it's cleaning, cooking etc, but then, there I am being picky and not doing much or not helping him. Thank God I realized it was wrong and started contributing as well. He noticed the changes and he would say let me do it for you, I know you don’t like doing this. I would say No, I need to do this. Now I have figured out one thing.
Mekdes Mintesinot
Who was your favorite me or Dad? Lol
Melody: Well it’s you, and then dad but it depends on the situation. For example, when I mess up, Dad’s is easier, he would scream at you once and then he forgets it but Mom’s would last for a few days making me regret saying Oh God why did I do that. But then you’re like my bestie who I share everything with down to my day to day life. I share my writing behavior with Dad, but we have a lot of things we disagree on too. But when it comes to you, even the way I talk to you is like I talk to my besties.
Tell me 3 things you remember I would say when I was upset when you were growing up?
Melody: Oh, those things I actually forget them by will because they really bug me, I try to delete them as much as possible. You say things that make me go, I should have thought about my actions through. I remember when we had class parties in grade school which would stay a bit longer than normal school hours and I would miss my school bus attending it. That was wrong because Dad was usually out of the city because of his work and mom was also busy with her work so if I miss the taxi there’s no one to take me home. The conversation that follows that, I don’t even want to remember but it was a bad one.
How would you describe me to your friends?
Melody: She’s my everything, my queen, my role model. Even my best friends see you as their own mom, asking me to ask her for some advice and opinion. I don’t have to describe you to them because they have their own say.
In one sentence, how would you sum up your childhood
Melody: It was adventurous, in a good way.
What is something that you learn as a child?
Melody: Kindness and Respect. Starting from the way Dad & you treat people, how you treat guests with respect. I used to think it was common in every family but I realized it wasn’t when I visited other people’s homes.
What would be the absolute worst name I could’ve given you?
Melody: Nothing I can think of but I think if I got a name in relation to the time I was born in, it's temporary so as that time passes the name loses meaning.
If you had to change your name, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that name?
Melody: I would never. I have a unique name so people always gave it more attention which annoyed me a bit and the only times I wished for a name change was when my teachers didn’t pronounce my name properly making me wish my name was Betty or Beza since those were very common and easy names.
As your mom, do I make you proud?
Melody: Very Much! Beyond proud!
What’s your favorite dish I cook?
Melody: It’s a lot but there’s this pasta you make with Bolognese sauce which I absolutely love. It always amazes me how you can whip up any food in a matter of minutes after going into the kitchen.
What was one of the best days of your life?
Melody: I would say my graduation. When I got my bachelors degree that is because I knew you gave a big place to education. My friends and I would even get tutoring from you on late nights on management and accounting courses. Instead of just telling me to study, you were always there motivating me when I felt too lazy and sharing your knowledge. You staying up with me when I study for exams so that I don’t sleep was also one of the many sacrifices you paid for me to achieve my educational success.
If you could change 1 thing about the world, what would you change?
Melody: The major thing I want to change is the way women are treated in general. The perception people have towards women, I wish to change that and I know I will do that someday with God’s help.
When did you screw up something, but no one in the house ever found out it was you?
Melody: I don’t know if you guys found out or not but remember the blanket that got burned while you were asleep wearing it, which was blamed on Mikey? That was me. I gave him the idea and we did it together but the blame was put on him. I can’t remember whether we did it out of curiosity, for experiment or for fun.
Mom: Oh, we thought it was Mickey to this day.
What’s the most interesting thing you heard or seen me do?
Melody: Achieving all the things you have worked so hard for in your career. I have witnessed you going through multiple changes but you came out on top each and every time. A lot of people that had the potential to go long have fallen short while you were there facing all the pressure at your workplace; with the workload at home, societal responsibilities & expectations. Moreover, you did all this without missing out on your own family. You were present in every aspect and that fascinates me. You managed it all so perfectly. No one had any complaints and I believe the way all four of your children turned out is a testament to that.
What is your best childhood memory?
Melody: There’s a lot of them but one of the memorable ones is when I was learning in Magic Carpet, elementary school, I was a top scorer and I would get my picture taken holding my small certificate of appreciation. I felt very happy because I was almost the only kid that got that.
If you had a chance for a “do-over” in life, what would you do differently?
Melody: Standing where I am now, I wouldn’t change almost anything. The only thing I wish is that if I had been aware about the work that needs to be done on women empowerment, advocacy and rape, I would have educated myself more on the subject and volunteered in organizations that work to bring a change towards those issues. I probably could have shaped myself better when it comes to that and by now I would already be working towards something.
What do you feel most proud of?
Melody: Where I am now, career wise and achievements wise, I’m proud of where I am now. If you asked me this question two years ago I probably wouldn’t give you this answer, I didn’t see myself getting to where I am now. Sometimes, you think everyone has what you have and when you communicate with people you find out otherwise becoming more grateful and proud of what you have. Besides that, the way that I think, the way I view things, how I solve problems and who I’ve become as a person in general makes me feel proud now that I’m aware of it.
Who is the better dancer, you or me? Lol
Melody: Definitely you.
What was your experience living in China?
Melody: The first time I went to china was through AISEC for an internship which lasted for about two months. I was a volunteer along with like-minded people that had the same goal and it was easier to connect with everyone since we were somehow similar in the way we think. Second time around, for my masters, it was another story. It was an eye-opening experience. I met and dealt with people from all walks of life from all around the world with completely different backgrounds. The cultural exchange is one to be noted as well but most of all It was a time I really grew personally.
If you could travel anywhere and live, where would you go and why?
Melody: To Live, I’ll stick to Ethiopia. But to travel, I’d like to travel and learn about other cultures and communities.
After college what did you want to become?
Melody: I graduated in Engineering so an Engineer definitely.
How do you spend your free time?
Melody: Reading, chilling with friends, meeting new people & sharing experiences which I believe is one way a person can grow. There’s a lot to learn from people’s experiences and I love how a simple conversation with a stranger can teach you a lesson you probably might never even experience. I can even say meeting new people is like a hobby to me.
What are your top three favorite books and why?
Melody: On top of my list is ‘The 5 Second Rule’ By Mel Robbins. It was a very good book and I recommended it to all my friends after I finished reading it in such a short time. I feel like anyone from anywhere in this world can relate to it since it focuses on personality and helps you work on that. Second would be ‘Becoming’ By Michelle Obama, which was nice but it was more of about her experience and her life which you can’t really bring down to your life since there’s a big gap in lifestyle and all making it not very relatable. Last but not least ‘Lasebebet’ By Frealem Shebabaw. It’s the third Amharic book I read and it didn’t disappoint. Her book talked about her experience and how its possible to do anything in your country as long as you fight for it. I finished this book overnight, it was that good.
What are you most afraid of?
Melody: Ants, I’m super scared of them.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Melody: There was a moment in time where I used to fall down on the street continuously. I have fallen down around Friendship Business Center in front of a lot of people when the Bole road was under construction. I also remember another time I fell down when I was jumping, I don’t remember the exact place, but it was a very embarrassing moment.
If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it be?
Melody: Travelling back in time, it would have been really nice to witness when Ethiopia defeated Italy at the battle of Adwa and I also wish I could have known Empress Taytu personally. From the present, I would want to go to a UN Security Council Meeting. From the future, I’d like to see the day where women are taking leadership roles in changing the world for the better and also see them leading countries.
What is a skill you'd like to learn and why?
Melody: I’d really like to develop my self confidence to speak in front of a crowd and comfortably give presentations. I don’t mind speaking in a group setting with people I’m familiar with but if you put me on a stage facing a huge crowd, I wouldn’t be able to do it. I think its because there’s nothing I’ve never really had to prepare for so far and the idea of being in front of a packed room is intimidating. I hope to learn this skill someday.
What would you like to say to me?
Melody: A lot of things but most of all, I feel like all the sacrifices you made have paid off for all of us (me and my siblings), So Thank you very much.
In this one on one interview conducted on June 16, 2021, Nesebrak Worldwide's approach is to show the importance of Motherhood and the teaching of good manners and good character can go a long way.
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